Pretty sure my phone is listening to me.

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/17/2018 at 18:05 • Filed to: Why don't I ever get ads for pop tarts tho

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I’ve had a recent string of targeted ads that are not based on my consumption, but rather my conversations.

Some months ago, after lamenting to my wife about me mutually parting ways with the thickness of my hair (bald!), I started seeing rogane ads on my phone the next day.

Since then, it’s gotten weirder. The latest example was from grocery shopping last week. We walk past the Depends (Adult diapers!) and my wife teases me about acting like a grouchy an old man.

“Ohhhhh should we pick up some Depends for ya? :D”

And a retort with my usual awful humor:

“I guess it DEPENDS on the price!”

Dohohohohohoohohohohohohohohoho

Anyway. Every day since then, I’ve been seeing ads for Depends on various Gawker sites...

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DISCUSSION (20)


Kinja'd!!! E90M3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:07

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That’s why I talk about E9Xs all the time, that way they only show me ads for BMWs.


Kinja'd!!! McMike > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:09

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Yet, People are still buying Amazon Echos.


Kinja'd!!! Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:11

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That’s creepy. Welp, time for a new phone.

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Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:15

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I keep calling Alexa a creeper. She’s like ceiling cat, except she listens to you masturbate because she can’t watch you (hopefully).

“Hey Alexa, stop listening in on us, ya’ creeper.”


Kinja'd!!! E90M3 > Urambo Tauro
03/17/2018 at 18:15

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As well as a new hat.


Kinja'd!!! Frenchlicker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:23

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I don’t know how true it is but technically by clicking accept on your phone and allowing Facebook to use your microphone you are allowing them to use it along with their algorithms to make more specific targeted ads. I don’t know if it’s just me believing it or not but it seems I have less ads based on conversations on Facebook.


Kinja'd!!! Frenchlicker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:23

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I don’t know how true it is but technically by clicking accept on your phone and allowing Facebook to use your microphone you are allowing them to use it along with their algorithms to make more specific targeted ads. I don’t know if it’s just me believing it or not but it seems I have less ads based on conversations on Facebook.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
03/17/2018 at 18:25

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Thank goodness I don’t indulge in weaknesses of the flesh.

[Closes 23 incognito tabs]


Kinja'd!!! facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 18:43

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I haven’t seen any examples of the phone (or alexa, etc.) listening to what you are saying.

There are definitely apps that listen for specific audio markers to find out what you are watching: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/28/business/media/alphonso-app-tracking.html?_r=1


Kinja'd!!! If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 19:12

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I ordered a new mattress and now I only see ads for mattresses, because clearly I’m going to need a new one a month after buying one.


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 19:41

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Adjust phone settings perhaps?

Or buy a new phone


Kinja'd!!! HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 19:46

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Aaaaand this is why Google Assistant is never active in my phones


Kinja'd!!! 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 20:03

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Kinja'd!!! 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > HammerheadFistpunch
03/17/2018 at 20:05

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I don’t use any of that voice stuff, half the time I see people use it they have to repeat themselves a few times. Nah, it leads to the cylons killing us all.


Kinja'd!!! MM54 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 20:25

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This happens to me all the time - have a conversation with someone over lunch, get home at the end of the day and have ads for whatever was discussed. It’s a bit alarming.


Kinja'd!!! gettingoldercarguy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 20:39

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The correct answer is to play voice read websites tuned to your voice. Play these from a second computer with a speaker placed proximally to your phone. Pegasus racing should do the trick.


Kinja'd!!! brianbrannon > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/17/2018 at 20:43

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Talking about motorcycle covers in the car brought up ads for them when we got to the coffee shop  


Kinja'd!!! winterlegacy, here 'till the end > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
03/17/2018 at 21:33

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Targeted advertising is a gigantic joke. About the time they properly “target” you, you’ve actually already bought what you’re looking for.

It’s part of the reason why I run an ad-blocker 24/7 and police my phone’s permissions.


Kinja'd!!! Elumerere > McMike
03/18/2018 at 01:29

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It boggles the mind.


Kinja'd!!! Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/18/2018 at 13:47

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Google keeps suggesting pistons for a Land Rover Discovery. What does it know that I don’t!? O_O;;